He was sitting right in front of her, drinking a coffee he hated just because he knew how much she loves that coffee place. Deep in her mind she knew it was a silly thing, not saying 'I love you' back, because she really does, but she couldn't overcome this huge wall that kept telling her that every single person heard this phrase from her ended up leaving her, and she was strong enough to endure it.
But, this time it was different because it was him and the mere thought of him leaving was enough to break her heart. Sometimes she would look at him and her hands would shake like she was afraid that if she touched him, he would vanish into thin air. Even after a whole year together, she still thought that this was all a dream she had made up and that any second she would wake up to a nightmare; that he would be gone, and she was left alone. But, she didn't want something to happen without him knowing that she loves him.
'He tells me that he loves me and that he understands that I've been hurt too much to say it back right now. But, I do love him... I love him and I need him to know that I love him.' She thought with determination.
"Oa ouh! Am I in trouble?" He said with fake fear. "Because I was totally gonna fix it as soon as you go to sleep tonight, and it was already partially broken from that time when your dad didn't know how to open it, so it's not totally my fault."
"What?! what is broken? I don't understand anything"
"Well you got this face again, the one that says 'I'm so gonna do this even if it kills me, and him too, in the process', so I assumed you found out th..." he was smart enough to stop talking when he found that she had no idea about the disaster he left in the closet.
She narrowed her eyes and gave him her 'you are in trouble' face " I don't have a face. But, please continue; I'm listening"
"Nahh, I'm good" He waved his hand nonchalantly.
Despite whatever he was attempting to achieve with his 'everything is great' attitude, she saw right through it. "What did you break? " She said in a very surprisingly calm voice, which was more scary than her yelling.
"Drink your hot chocolate before it gets cold, sweetie " He smiled, looking far too innocent to actually be one. His eyes stayed a little too wide, and he really had to work at stopping his mouth from breaking into that huge mischievous grin.
"Was it our sofa? I promise I won't get mad if it was the sofa. Our kitchen machine, because that was already broken and dad promised to get us another." He didn't know that, but it kind of made sense; let's face it, her dad was the only person who actually used that kitchen. "What else did dad touch?" She tapped her head and he was sure that she was doing that 'thinking out loud ' thing again.
"I got you a present." he said while passing a small white box with a purple ribbon, 'nice touch with my favorite color, buddy. ' She thought.
She narrowed her eyes, tapping her nails on the table. "A gift! oh God! It's something big because you are definitely trying to sweeten me up and considering I’m already pretty sweet on you, that means you've done something huge." She poked him in the chest. "And I want to know what is broken right now. Was it the dressing room, because you know I love that dressing room. Maybe the table your dad bought for us, good I already hated that table."
He rolled his eyes and then pretended to look for the waiter to hide his grin.
"Hey! Don't give me that look, your mum too thinks it is hideous, and she is his wife." She said defensively.
He sarcastically said "Our lovely, stylish table is fine. Thank you for worrying about it." Then he put his hand on his heart and with a fake hurt expression he said "But, oh! I'm hurt. I get you a gift and before you even open it you question my intentions. And by the way, this is our first anniversary gift."
She raised one eyebrow, but still had the decency to look embarrassed, and caste her eyes down while opening the box. He watched her closely, loving all the expressions that crossed her face, the way she grinned sweetly while opening the box like an excited little girl, then the shock when she finally opened it, but the best one was when her eyes softened and said "Oh, that is beautiful.". He dropped his eyes to his coffee as soon as her head came up.
"Look at you, being all sentimental and goober" She said teasingly.
"Whatever." He said grumpily, still not meeting her eyes and busying himself with asking the waiter for the check.
She gave him the golden bracelet and extended her right hand. He looked in her eyes with all the affection and love in the world and fastened the bracelet around her wrist before kissing the inside of her wrist softly. "Let's go home" He winked at her while sneaking his hand around her waist and grinning slyly.
She laughed and he swore his heart skipped a beat.
They walked hand in hand like little kids in comfortable silent, enjoying each other's company. Before all of a sudden, she stopped and her eyes got so wide.
"Oh my God! It's my recliner, You broken my recliner?! what did it ever do to you? Why? Whyyy?" She broke in sobs while he stood stunned for a second.
"Noooo, no, the recliner is fine. I know how much you love the stupid thing." He put his hand across his heart, aiming for a look of a brave knight but ended up looking like a scout boy. "I'll protect it with my life." And he couldn't believe he was able to finish that sentence with a straight face.
"Really?" she said while sniffling, with big sparkly eyes from all the tears, and he had to take a deep breath because she couldn't be more beautiful.
"Well, not really with my life, but I'll keep it safe."
"No, you goof, I mean, is it really not broken?"
"Yes, not even a scratch."
She was quiet for a moment. "Then, what did you break?"
He ducked his head slightly. " When I unfolded and sat on that bamboo chair in the balcony it broke and I might have grabbed that blue vase you really like while falling and broke it too, But it was a tiny crack"
She took a step closing the distance between them. "Just a tiny crack? "
"Totally fixable by glue." He said hopefully.
"And you will let me sit on your lap when we sit in the balcony, as we now have only one chair and all" She said wrapping an arm around his neck.
" I think I'll have to." He shrugged, but she was pretty sure that she could see a smile tugging at his lips.
....
She sat in front of him while he was fixing the blue vase, with all the concentration in the world while poking his tongue out the corner of his mouth, and she tried really, really hard not to be completely endeared, but it was impossible. So instead she played with the charms in her bracelet.
Each one a memory of its own. A tiny T-shirt, reminder of when they first met at a charity clothes collection event ; a bitten bar of chocolate, her favorite meal in the whole world, and yes, it's a meal; a TV figure, because he still couldn't let it go; number one, a signification for their first year together; and finally, a Heart to show her that he loves her, as if he didn't say it enough.
"I love you." She found herself saying softly.
He was stunned beyond what he thought possible, it was a real miracle that the vase didn't fall from his hands and shattered into pieces. "Wh.."
She cut him off before she lost courage. " I love you. I love how supportive and patient you are. I love how caring you can be. I love how, despite how many times I have pushed you away, you still stick by my side. I love the way you sometimes snore in the middle of the night. I love that you let me drink your tea instead of mine, and make it just the way I like it. I love your heartbeat when I feel it while hugging you tight. I love your jokes and your pranks and your laugh. I love everything about you, and I’m in love with you, and I need you to know that now, because if something happen… to one of us…I can’t bear the thought of you never having heard me say it.”
He looked at her fondly and without talking, he stepped forward and slide one of his big hands around her neck. He just placed her head on his shoulder and then leaned down, sighing, and knowing that at that exact moment his world became complete.
It was one of this weird days, when he woke up before her. So he sneaked to their balcony and sat on the only chair there. He still couldn't wrap his head around the fact that she said it.
He sat there enjoying the sun on his face with his eyes closed peacefully But, he barely twitched as hands came to his shoulders, massaging lightly. He melted into it, not bothering to open his eyes as a breath spread across his face. It wasn't until a figure blocked the sun that he opened his eyes. He grinned up at her, loving the way she was smiling down at him.
"Hey" He greeted.
"Hey." She replied, bending down. He ran his fingertips along her jaw, she hummed and closed her eyes, still upside down. She rubbed her nose against his and said with a mixture of amusement and annoyance that impressed him
"There is no place for me to sit."
He grabbed her arm and sat her on his lap. He grinned wickedly with a hint of possessiveness as he noticed her wearing one of his shirts, perfectly too big on her, and then his eyes fell on the bracelet on her hand, and he felt a warmth spread through his chest.
It was a simple bracelet, but it marked their one-year anniversary or rather the survival of their first year. It reminded them of what they had, of whom it was worth getting to the end of the day for, of her smile when he had given it to her, and of every time they said 'I love you' to each other.
